My Life in a Nutcracker

03/28/2010 at 2:51 pm (Personal Opinion)

I live in Ontario, Canada.  I use a power wheelchair to get around, due to several health issues.  My entire income comes from the Province’s Social Assistance system.  I’m capable of working, I’ve had skills, I’m intelligent.  The problem (or rather problems, to be accurate) is, I’m in a wheelchair (many employer’s office space are inaccessible, even though, legally, they’re suppose to be), I’ve been unemployed for a very long time (though not for lack of trying on my part) and I declared bankruptcy over a year ago (due to chronic unemployment).  Of course, it doesn’t help that every employer in this area feels compelled to run a credit check on me, discover my bankruptcy, and then make judgements regarding my character (or lack there of) and what type of employee I might make.

I tell you these things, my gentle readers, merely for perspective.  Not every poor person lack skills (or character).  I’m a writer.  I’ve written 2 complete novels (as I’ve mentioned earlier), and many many screen, radio, and stage plays, as well as more short stories, essays and articles, and poems than I can count.  Not to mention, I taught myself to program computer (as well as many other fun things to do with them).

My major complaint, the elected officials in this city, province, and country, vote themselves a 20% – 40% raises (not to mention allowing the price of everything, especially groceries, to rise by at least 10%) while only giving those of us on at the lowest point on the socio-economic totum pole, a raise of about 5% (and they celebrate with a $200 dinner.  If I’m lucky, I can afford to eat 2 meals a day for the whole month, pay my bills, and my rent.  I have to plan for the simplest things, like going to breakfast or a movie with a friend once a month.  LIFE SUCKS!

And I do ask myself, frequently, if it’s worth it.  And sometimes, I can only answer no.  I guess that makes me depressed.  Just like the fact that there are a great many days  that it’s too big a pain in the ass to actually get out of bed, get dressed, and do something, anything.  I’ve spent my whole life being good at solving problems.  And I just can’t come up with a solution to the problem my life has become.  And some days, I just don’t care that I can’t.  I use to think that my life would always be, at least, enjoyable.  And now, it’s more of a surprise when it is.

And that, gentle readers, is my bitch for today.

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